I'm exhausted. I shouldn't be, but I am wasted and I'm getting two cold sores, and yesterday I drove away from the gas station with the pump still in my car. Waiting for a miracle is tiring business. I really have a lot of hope invested in this acupuncture treatment and I think I am constantly on edge. Looking for something. Trying to detect a change in seizures. Is he looking at things more, or am I imagining it? Is he stronger, or is he just having a good day?
Have you ever driven by a church and seen that slogan. " Expect a miracle"? Well, I do. I know Oskars miracle is out there if I can just find it. Every single day I wake up and think " maybe he won't have seizures today". It wears me out, but I don't know any other way to be. I can't give up, or I wouldn't be able to get through the day.
So I will wear lipstick to cover the shankers and double check the gas pump and try to get some sleep and and carry on.