A lot of people ask me if Al and I are reconciling, and all I can say is that we are going to a lot of therapy and reading books and stuff. In Al Anon, we talk a lot about not worrying about the future. I actually have this written on my mirror. "I needn't worry about things that might happen in the future. I don't know if they will happen, or how I will feel if they do."
One thing that has really helped me is that no matter what plans I make for the future, my higher power is really the one in control. Who knows... I could get hit by lightning tomorrow. Al could get hit by a bus...why, Al could walk out his door one morning and get attacked by a rabid wolf. His head could hit the cement as he is knocked unconscious, then he might wake briefly only to see the steely glint of the wolf's eyes as he raises his blood-covered muzzle for a moment before diving back in for another mouthful of entrails and vital organs.
This thought gives me comfort.